


He Ate My Heart

by Terminallydepraved



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Cameras, Cosplay, Crack, Crack Fic, I Dont Even Fucking Know, M/M, Marriage, Threats of Violence, alcohol was involved in the writing of this fic, cosplay hook ups, implied sex, magic girl references, mereums tail, overdose levels of crack in this, slut milluki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-27
Updated: 2015-06-27
Packaged: 2018-04-06 10:00:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4217364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Terminallydepraved/pseuds/Terminallydepraved
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Meruem went looking for the best of the best and he found it in the Zoldyck boy. He had no idea a human could be so strong, so animalistic, so sturdy. It was a match made in heaven, really.</p>
            </blockquote>





	He Ate My Heart

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know guys. I have no excuses. Besides alcohol. There was a lot of alcohol involved in this. Please pray for me. Milluki is such a con-slut in this. I'm so ashamed.

Meruem landed with the grace befitting his station and the entire plaza paid him no heed. It was almost insulting, the way the eyes slid past him with no reverence, no awe, no fear. It was almost enough to have him wash the pristine floors in blood. He calmed himself though and set his mind towards the plan at hand.

In his short life, Meruem had found little distraction that lasted for any sizable amount of time. His jaunt at board games had been the longest thus far and his advisers had assured him that this place hosted the largest selection of professional players in the area. Many even traveled from far countries to compete. Meruem looked forward to the challenge, despite the clear lack of respect available from the surrounding attendees. 

He wasn’t sure why the humans deigned to costume themselves in a myriad of fabrics, colors, and uncomfortable outfits, but he chose to let it be. Meruem was a generous ruler when the fancy struck after all.

Meruem weaved his way through the unwashed masses and towards the marked hall designated for the game competitions. He had had his advisers register him for every competition held and he intended to meet his competitors at their best. The line in front of him dissipated when they saw him coming, obviously intimidated by the strength of his aura and the fearsomeness of his tail. It set a sliver of pride down his spine, despite the humans’ inherent worthlessness.

The competition began and he quickly excelled through the bracket, defeating opponents quickly and decisively. All paid special attention to his physique and their appraising eyes filled him with abject disgust. The humans were pathetic, weak, merely flimsy flesh begging to be devoured by a greater predator. There was no challenge here. There was nothing to interest him.

Within an hour and a half Meruem had excelled through to the final round. He was placed at a large table stained with unknown substances, told to wait while his competitor finished his break. Meruem suffered the indignity, willing to wait if it meant facing his opponent at their best. He would not suffer any excuses when they inevitably lost. 

When the seat across from him finally filled, Meruem was met with a large human male, dressed in some sort of skirt and blonde headdress. His arms were filled with bags and boxes of food, mouth likewise occupied. The aura pouring off the human was immense, and Meruem found himself immediately intrigued.

“Who are you, human?” Meruem asked, lounging against the table regally. He was unused to humans carrying themselves with such animalistic abandon. It was almost quaint.

The human swallowed around his bite of food, wiped at his mouth with the back of a sleeve, and leveled him with an annoyed look. “Mami Tomoi, idiot. God, I thought even ninja turtles had television,” the human replied, shoving more food into his mouth. “You ready to lose to my superior skill? I don’t come out for many things. I intend to win this, I’ll have you know.”

Meruem’s eyes widened and he cocked his head. Strong, assertive, and if his senses were correct, far sturdier than any other human he had encountered before. This had the potential of being interesting. He smirked and readied his deck of cards.

“I intend to win as well, Mami Tomoi. Let us begin.”

They played aggressively, neither giving an inch. Mami continued to eat his supply of food, paying little care towards decorum or proper dining habits that Meruem had read about in his extensive study of the human race. Meruem found himself actually challenged at times, having to execute a multitude of risky moves in order to avoid the traps his gifted opponent set effortlessly. 

“You are quite skilled at this, Mami Tomoe,” Meruem complimented, throwing down a magic card to counter the current trap on the field. 

Mami snorted, so unlike any human, and drew another card. “You aren’t too bad yourself.”

If Meruem wasn’t mistaken, there was appraisement in that tone. He felt himself preen. “You are also very strong. I can sense it. You are unlike any human I have met in my time.” Another battle sequence ended and he drew from his hand.

“Heh, I am the greatest human being you’re likely to meet. I am a Zoldyck after all.”

Meruem cocked his head, confused. He threw down his monsters and ended his turn. “I believe you said you were of the Tomoe’s.”

There was a laugh now, loud and unrestrained. It sounded so wild. 

“Keep being moe and I’ll start calling you Caterpillar-san,” he replied, his brown corset vest stretching as he laughed. “My real name is Milluki Zoldyck and I am the strongest and most talented otaku in the world. You would do well to remember my name.”

Meruem inclined his head. “I am Meruem. I am the King of the Ants and I will devour you all. Make this game interesting. For your own sake if nothing else.” He concentrated on the cards in his hand and did not notice Milluki’s reaction until the laughter threatened to displace the cards on the table.

“Caterpillar-san is going to devour me?” Milluki asked with a grin on his round face. “Oh I think I might like that though. What would you do next?” A magic card was thrown down, completely ruining the strategy Meruem had been setting up for the past half hour.

“What would you suggest I do?” he asked offhandedly, his tail curling in his concentration.

“Something involving that tail, I hope.”

Meruem looked up and saw the pure intent in the black eyes. He frowned in confusion, unsure of his meaning. “Are you implying something, Milluki Zoldyck?” Another battle phase passed and Meruem found himself at the beginning of a disadvantage. 

“Only if that tail’s fully articulated.”

The tail in question flicked under the scrutiny and Milluki’s eyes were fixed to the movement, his tongue coming out to lick up the stray crumbs covering his mouth. He tossed down another set of monsters and easily reduced Meruem’s life points by half. Meruem was speechless. Milluki wasn’t.

“So, Caterpillar-san,” Milluki began in a low voice. “What would you say to coming up to my hotel room after this? I may let you devour me even if you lose. We could recreate the scene and everything.”

Meruem blinked slowly, placing his next set of cards hesitantly. He was not accustomed to this…brashness with humans. Milluki was unlike anyone he had ever met before. It was almost enticing. 

Milluki continued, leaning onto the table. His pudgy forearms practically reeked of power and for the first time Meruem did not associate the scent with food. With a graceful swish of his hand, he flipped the face down cards on his side of the field, draining the last of Meruem’s life points in one fell swoop.

“Okay.”

oOo

“Just clench your thighs.”

“Been there, clenched them!” Milluki whined, struggling to maintain his balance on Meruem’s tail. He paid no concern to his skirt riding up over his thighs or the green tip wrapping itself around his ankle for added support. “What the hell is this thing made out of anyway? It doesn’t move like a prosthetic.”

Meruem held out a hand to Milluki and helped him perch for the camera set up in the corner of the room. “My body,” he replied, twitching the tail to settle the tan skirt into a more appropriate position.

Milluki pouted, his cheeks pouchy and petulant. “Babe, I know you take your furry-shtick seriously, but I’m really only willing to let the suspension of disbelief go so far. I don’t want you pissing on me to mark your territory.” He hiked his skirt back up over his thigh and angled it so the camera had sight of his frilly panties.

“This is not a costume, Millu—” Meruem caught himself. He had been told to not call him by his given name while in the hotel room. “Mami Tomoe. This is my body.” He let Milluki take hold of his hand, place his fingers on the joints and grooves of his exoskeleton. 

The human’s eyes widened, coming out of their squint in surprise. “Well then. Happy birthday to me.” He swung his thick legs from his perch and stared pointedly at Meruem’s hips, his hand still tracing the smooth shape of Meruem’s arm. “Is your Caterpillar-chan fully articulated? Oh! Please tell me you have tentacles,” he begged, lifting his skirt even more.

It took a moment for Meruem to understand what he was asking. This human had a tendency to speak in riddles, turning their very conversation into a game with ever changing rules. “I believe that my sexual organs are designed to be at the evolutionary peak of procreating. It is not something I have looked into extensively before though,” he explained, watching as Milluki ran his hands down every inch of his body he could reach without falling off his tail.

Milluki looked up at him, his small eyes glinting in the low light of the room. 

“Where have you been all my life?”

oOo

“And then we fucked so hard the bed broke! It was like that scene in—” 

Silva cut off his son with a panicked wave of his hand and tried to keep an eye on Kikyo’s state of consciousness. It would be horrible if she fainted and left him to handle this all by himself.

“And you said this Meruem…proposed to you?” he asked, shifting on his chaise. The suitor in question stood in the corner of the room, leaning against the wall with his tail flicking in boredom. 

Milluki nodded enthusiastically, his entire body rippling with the movement. “And I said yes! Papa, Mama, I want to have the ceremony here and the theme must be Vocaloid, and the cake can be of Hatsune Miku, and—” Again he was cut off, this time by Kikyo.

“And who is this…Meruem?! You are a Zoldyck, Millu, and I will not have you marrying beneath your name!” she shrieked, bristling like an angry hedgehog. Silva placed a calming hand on her waist and fervently wished this was not happening.

“I am King of the Chimera Ants, ruler of all humanity, and the apex being of all existence,” Meruem offered across the room, finally deigning to meet Silva and Kikyo’s eyes.

It was like a switch had been flicked. Kikyo immediately straightened, darting across the space to wrap Milluki in her arms. “Oh my little Millu is getting married! To a King no less! Oh we must inform the family at once!”

Silva gaped and watched as she grabbed Meruem, joining his hand with Milluki’s. 

“Honey, are you sure we shouldn’t deliberate this more?”

“Papa! This is true love and I’m gonna marry him if I want!” Milluki whined, stamping his foot. He looked up at Meruem and pouted. “What if they say no, Caterpillar-san?”

Meruem cocked his head, looking at Silva over Milluki’s shoulder in calculation. “Then I will eat your parents, Mami Tomoe. Nothing will stop me from taking possession of the only human worthy of my affection.” His tone was absolute and every bit as commanding as could be expected of a ruler.

Kikyo, flustered, immediately began to protest. “Nonsense! We approve of this match completely. I will personally oversee the wedding preparations!” she twittered, turning to glare at Silva for not supporting her wholeheartedly. 

Milluki looked up at Meruem, his small eyes practically glowing. 

“I can’t wait to tell Killua to suck it.”

**Author's Note:**

> I applaud you if you reach this part of the fic because it means you actually managed to scrape your way through this monstrosity. Please blame brocon-the-destroyer. And booze. I'm so sorry.


End file.
